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  • What do you notice?
  • What might be the reason for this?
  • What can you do yourself?
  • When is it advisable to seek help?
  • How Rondom can help
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  • Make an appointment

Talking about boundaries and resilience

Do you find it difficult to talk at home about your limits and what you can cope with? Perhaps you’re not entirely sure where your limits lie. Or you’re worried that others won’t understand. Nevertheless, it’s important to talk about what you can cope with. Especially if symptoms, tiredness or care responsibilities are affecting your family or relationship. Your capacity refers to what you can cope with at any given moment. This can vary from day to day. If you do not discuss this, others may expect too much of you or, conversely, take on too much themselves. Both situations can cause tension.

Talking about boundaries and resilience
What do you notice?

Difficulty talking about boundaries can have a significant impact at home.

You may, for example, notice that:

  • you go the extra mile to ensure nobody is disappointed;
  • others do not understand why something is not working;
  • you get angry because you feel overlooked;
  • you receive help that makes you feel uncomfortable;
  • you continue to take on tasks that are too demanding;
  • you feel guilty when you say no;
  • you are postponing your appointments;
  • misunderstandings may arise;
  • you feel alone with your symptoms.

Sometimes you hope that others will automatically realise when things have gone too far. But one’s capacity to cope is often not visible.

What might be the reason for this?

Related topics

  • Asking for help without straining the relationship

    Would you like to ask your partner, family or friends for help, but are you worried that this might put a strain on the relationship? Perhaps that is why you ask for less help than you actually need. Or you only ask for help when you really can’t cope any longer. This can cause tension, because the other person then suddenly has to take on a lot more. Asking for help within a relationship or family is a sensitive matter. You don’t want to ask too much of the other person. At the same time, you sometimes need support. By discussing the need for help clearly and in good time, the relationship often remains better balanced.

  • Balancing informal care with work or family life

Was this information helpful?

Talking about boundaries is difficult when symptoms fluctuate. What worked yesterday might not work today. This can be confusing for you and for others.

Emotions also play a part. Shame, guilt, sadness or fear of being a burden can cause you to express yourself less clearly.

In addition, people around you sometimes do not know how they can help. Without any explanation, they fill in the blanks themselves.

What can you do yourself?

It helps to speak clearly. Don’t just say that it’s too much, but explain what does and doesn’t work.

For example, you could:

  • choose a quiet moment;
  • indicate what you can manage today;
  • explain which tasks take a lot of energy;
  • ask for help with a specific task;
  • agreeing together on times to rest;
  • say what you yourself wish to continue doing;
  • words indicating pain, tiredness or tension;
  • discuss the arrangements again at a later date.

A good conversation doesn’t have to be perfect. Just getting started is often helpful.

When is it advisable to seek help?

Seeking help is a sensible thing to do if talking about boundaries consistently leads to tension. Support can also be helpful if you continually overstep your boundaries or if others do not understand your limits.

Please get in touch if tensions at home are rising or if the situation becomes too emotionally overwhelming.

How Rondom can help

Together, we’ll look at how you can clarify your limits and capacity. In doing so, we’ll focus on your energy levels, tasks, symptoms, communication and home situation.

A occupational therapist can help you gain an insight into your capacity and allocate tasks in a practical way. Psychological Support can help with feelings of guilt, stress and difficult conversations. A lifestyle coach can support recovery and routine.

Together, we are looking for words and agreements that provide greater clarity at home.

Are you caring for a loved one and trying to balance this with work, family or other commitments? Perhaps you do it out of love and as a matter of course, but you’re finding that your days are becoming increasingly full. You work, organise appointments, help out at home, keep in touch with care providers and try to make time for your family as well. That can take a lot out of you. Balancing informal care with work or family life often involves finding the right balance. You want to be there for the other person, but you also have your own life, health and responsibilities. If that balance comes under pressure, informal care can become a heavy burden. It is important to assess early on what you need to keep going.

  • Being unable to do as much for one’s partner or children

    Do you find it difficult that you are unable to do as much for your partner or children? Perhaps you find it harder to manage practical tasks, have less energy to give them your full attention, or find yourself having to say ‘no’ more often. That can be painful, especially if looking after others is a key part of who you are. Being able to do less does not mean you are any less important. Yet it can certainly feel that way. You may feel guilty, sad or insecure. It helps to consider what you can still do and how you can remain involved in different ways.

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