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  • What do you notice?
  • What might be the reason for this?
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Parenting whilst you yourself have health issues

Are you a parent and do you have health issues that make looking after your child on a daily basis more difficult? Perhaps you have less energy, more pain or less patience than you would like. Parenting is demanding. When health issues are added to the mix, it can be tough and emotionally draining. Many parents do not want to burden their child with their health issues. They carry on, even when it is actually too much. Nevertheless, it can help to assess what is feasible and how you can organise support. Being a good parent does not mean you have to do everything on your own or do it perfectly.

Balancing parenthood with health issues
What do you notice?

Balancing parenthood with health issues can be challenging in many ways.

You may, for example, notice that:

  • you have little energy for playing or paying attention;
  • lifting, bending or caring for someone causes pain;
  • you get irritated more easily;
  • avoids activities with your child;
  • you feel guilty;
  • if you are having difficulty with transport, pick-ups or appointments;
  • you get less rest;
  • you are worried that your child is not getting enough;
  • you find it difficult to ask for help.

Sometimes it feels as though you are constantly having to choose between your child and your recovery. That is a difficult situation.

What might be the reason for this?

Related topics

  • Asking for help without straining the relationship

    Would you like to ask your partner, family or friends for help, but are you worried that this might put a strain on the relationship? Perhaps that is why you ask for less help than you actually need. Or you only ask for help when you really can’t cope any longer. This can cause tension, because the other person then suddenly has to take on a lot more. Asking for help within a relationship or family is a sensitive matter. You don’t want to ask too much of the other person. At the same time, you sometimes need support. By discussing the need for help clearly and in good time, the relationship often remains better balanced.

  • Balancing informal care with work or family life

Was this information helpful?

Parenting requires physical and mental energy. Ailments, pain, tiredness, stress or poor sleep can reduce that energy.

Your child’s age is also a factor. Young children often require a great deal of physical care. Older children may require more planning, conversation or emotional support.

In addition, expectations can be high. You want to be an involved parent and not miss a thing. As a result, you might end up spending too much time on it.

What can you do yourself?

It helps to make parenting practical and manageable.

For example, you could:

  • choose activities that suit your energy levels;
  • playing whilst seated or reading aloud;
  • asking for help with bringing, collecting or heavy tasks;
  • explain things to your child in a calm manner;
  • planning rest periods;
  • sharing tasks with a partner, family or support network;
  • consciously making use of brief moments of attention;
  • Be kind to yourself if things don’t always go the way you’d like.

Children need, above all, a sense of security, attention and honesty at their own level. It doesn’t have to be perfect.

When is it advisable to seek help?

It is wise to seek help if your symptoms are making parenting difficult or if you feel a great deal of guilt. Advice is also important if you are feeling overwhelmed or if there is a lot of tension at home.

Please get in touch if you’re feeling down, aren’t sleeping well or feel like you can’t cope any more.

How Rondom can help

Together, we’ll look at how you can balance parenthood with your health issues. In doing so, we’ll focus on your energy levels, practical tasks, recovery, emotions and family situation.

A occupational therapist can help to adapt care tasks and daily activities. A lifestyle coach can help with sleep, recovery and rhythm. In cases of guilt, stress or emotional strain, it can psychological support should be appropriate. A physiotherapist can help if pain, lifting or movement are factors.

Together, we look for practical solutions that suit you and your family.

Are you caring for a loved one and trying to balance this with work, family or other commitments? Perhaps you do it out of love and as a matter of course, but you’re finding that your days are becoming increasingly full. You work, organise appointments, help out at home, keep in touch with care providers and try to make time for your family as well. That can take a lot out of you. Balancing informal care with work or family life often involves finding the right balance. You want to be there for the other person, but you also have your own life, health and responsibilities. If that balance comes under pressure, informal care can become a heavy burden. It is important to assess early on what you need to keep going.

  • Being unable to do as much for one’s partner or children

    Do you find it difficult that you are unable to do as much for your partner or children? Perhaps you find it harder to manage practical tasks, have less energy to give them your full attention, or find yourself having to say ‘no’ more often. That can be painful, especially if looking after others is a key part of who you are. Being able to do less does not mean you are any less important. Yet it can certainly feel that way. You may feel guilty, sad or insecure. It helps to consider what you can still do and how you can remain involved in different ways.

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