Setting boundaries as a carer
Do you find it difficult to set boundaries as a carer? Perhaps you say yes to extra tasks, even though you’re already stretched thin. Or you notice that others automatically turn to you when something needs sorting out. Setting boundaries can be tricky, especially when it comes to someone you love. Nevertheless, boundaries are important. They help you to keep up with the care and prevent you from becoming overburdened. Setting a boundary does not mean you care any less about the other person. Informal care is a (major) part of your life. But it’s important that there’s still room for work, family, social contacts and activities that matter to you.
What do you notice?
Difficulty in setting boundaries can manifest itself in many ways.
You may, for example, notice that:
- you are taking on more than you can handle;
- you don’t dare say no;
- you feel guilty when you take time for yourself;
- you take on tasks that someone else could also do;
- you are often available;
- you have little rest;
- you get angry or sad because it’s too much;
- you cancel your own appointments;
- you feel that nobody realises how much you do.
Sometimes you hope that others will realise for themselves that it is too much. But often that does not happen. In that case, clear communication is needed.
