Dealing with changing roles

Changing roles can be challenging, both practically and emotionally.

You may, for example, notice that:

you look at each other differently;
conversations are more often about healthcare;
you feel less equal;
you get irritated more easily;
you miss your old habits;
you feel sad about what has changed;
you find it difficult to give or receive help;
you feel you have less time to relax together;
you are unsure how to fulfil your role.

Sometimes love is naturally associated with worries. But a relationship also needs space for ordinary moments, free from worry.

Roles change when someone’s abilities decline, they fall ill or become more dependent. Responsibilities then shift. Someone who used to organise a lot of things may now need help. Or someone who was primarily a partner may also become a carer.

This can evoke feelings such as sadness, anger, shame, guilt or helplessness. These feelings are normal, but can become overwhelming if they are not discussed.

Practical pressures can also change the relationship. If the day consists mainly of organising and worrying, there is less room left for meaningful interaction.

It helps to make change a topic of discussion. Not just the practical tasks, but also how it affects you.

For example, you could:

identify what you are missing;
discuss together which tasks have changed;
making arrangements regarding support and independence;
continue to plan ordinary moments together;
allow outside help;
recognise that it takes time to get used to it;
be kind to one another;
talking to someone outside the situation.

Try not to view the other person solely as a care recipient or a carer. The relationship extends beyond care.

Seeking help is a sensible thing to do if changing roles are causing tension, distance or lingering sadness. Even if your conversations mainly revolve around care and responsibilities, support can help.

Please get in touch if the situation becomes too emotionally overwhelming, if you are feeling increasingly low, or if you feel unsafe at home.

Together, we look at how changing roles affect daily life and relationships. In doing so, we focus on responsibilities, boundaries, independence, emotions and communication between people.

A occupational therapist can help you stay involved in the things that matter to you, even as roles and responsibilities change. Psychological Support can help with grief, stress and changing relationships. A lifestyle coach can support you in your recovery and in ensuring you have space for yourself.

Together, we are looking for ways to cope better with the change and to keep the relationship as equal as possible.

What do you think of our website?

What do you think of our website?

Related topics

Asking for help without straining the relationship

Balancing informal care with work or family life

Was this information helpful?

Being unable to do as much for one’s partner or children

Work on your health with the Rondom app

Find a healthcare provider near you