The emotional strain of informal care
Does providing informal care feel emotionally draining? Perhaps you are worried, feeling sad or find that you are constantly on edge. You love the person you are caring for and want to help, but the situation is taking a heavy toll on you. The emotional side of informal care is sometimes underestimated. Yet it can be just as demanding as the practical care itself. Informal care can evoke feelings that coexist: love, commitment, anger, sadness, guilt and a sense of powerlessness. This can be confusing. You can care deeply for someone and still find the caregiving a burden.
What do you notice?
The emotional strain caused by providing informal care can manifest itself in many ways.
You may, for example, notice that:
- you worry a lot about your loved one;
- you are more prone to emotional outbursts;
- you feel powerless;
- you get angry and then feel guilty;
- you have trouble sleeping;
- you feel you have little scope for enjoyment;
- you remain alert at all times;
- you are saddened by what has changed;
- you feel alone in the healthcare system.
Sometimes you don’t dare to express these feelings. You may feel that you have to be strong. But suppressing your feelings often takes even more energy.
What might be the reason for this?
Informal care often involves love, loss and responsibility. You see someone changing or their condition deteriorating. That can be sad, even when you are able to cope with the day-to-day care.
Furthermore, uncertainty can be a heavy burden. Not knowing how the situation will develop or how much care will still be needed causes anxiety.
Your relationship with your loved one may also change. You are not only a partner, child, parent or friend, but also a carer. This requires emotional adjustment.
What can you do yourself?
It helps to take the emotional side seriously and give it space.
For example, you could:
- talking to someone who listens carefully;
- write down your feelings;
- get in touch with other informal carers;
- planning short moments of rest;
- recognise that mixed feelings are normal;
- asking for help with practical tasks;
- make time for something that helps you relax;
- seek professional support if it becomes too much to cope with.
You don’t always have to be strong. Informal carers need support too.
When is it advisable to seek help?
It is wise to seek help if the emotional strain continues to increase or if you feel down, anxious or exhausted. Please get in touch if you continue to sleep poorly, are unable to relax or feel that you can no longer cope.
Please also seek help if there is a great deal of tension or conflict in your relationship with your loved one.
How Rondom can help
Together, we’ll explore what makes informal care emotionally demanding and what support you need. In doing so, we’ll focus on feelings, boundaries, recovery, relationships and practical burdens.
Psychological Support can help people cope with grief, feelings of guilt and helplessness, as well as with stress or ongoing worries. A occupational therapist can help to strike a better balance between practical care tasks, energy levels and daily activities. A lifestyle coach can support recovery, sleep and rhythm.
Together, we’ll look for ways to ease the emotional strain and make sure you have some time for yourself.
