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  • What do you notice?
  • What might be the reason for this?
  • What can you do yourself?
  • When is it advisable to seek help?
  • How Rondom can help
  • Download the Rondom app
  • Make an appointment

Making independent choices

Have you noticed that making decisions for yourself is becoming more difficult? Perhaps you find yourself hesitating more often than before. Or you may notice that others are quicker to decide for you what is sensible. This may be well-intentioned, but it can also feel as though you have less control over your own life. Making independent choices isn’t just about big decisions. It’s also about everyday matters. What will you and won’t you do today? What help will you accept? Which activities suit your energy levels? If your health or capacity changes, these kinds of choices can suddenly feel much more burdensome.

Making choices
What do you notice?

Difficulty making decisions independently can manifest itself in various ways. Sometimes you mainly notice hesitation. Sometimes you prefer to leave decisions to others.

You may, for example, notice that:

  • you find yourself hesitating longer over everyday decisions;
  • you are afraid of making the wrong choice;
  • you seek a great deal of validation from others;
  • you are postponing your decisions;
  • you let others decide what you do;
  • if you are subsequently dissatisfied with a choice;
  • you find it difficult to express your own wishes;
  • if you feel uncertain due to symptoms or tiredness;
  • you lose track of the big picture when there are lots of options.

Sometimes making a choice feels particularly difficult because every choice has consequences. If you choose one activity, you may have less energy for something else. That makes it understandable that you feel more uncertain.

Related topics

  • Dealing with dependency

    Do you find it difficult to be more dependent on others? Perhaps you need help with transport, housework, personal care, paperwork or appointments. This can have a big impact on you. You may feel grateful for the help, whilst at the same time feeling sad or angry that you need it. Dependence affects your independence, freedom and self-esteem. It is understandable if you struggle with this. Needing help does not mean you can no longer do anything for yourself. It is about working together to find a balance between receiving support and retaining control over your own life.

  • Drawing up a daily schedule

Was this information helpful?

What might be the reason for this?

Making independent choices requires clarity, energy and confidence. This can become more difficult when you are in pain, feeling tired, stressed or overwhelmed. In such cases, your mind has less capacity to weigh things up calmly.

Changing health circumstances can also cause uncertainty. What used to be a logical choice may no longer be suitable. In that case, you will need to reassess what is feasible.

In addition, your environment can have an influence. Family, friends or carers often want to help. But if others are too quick to decide what is best for you, your own voice may fade into the background.

What can you do yourself?

It helps to make choices smaller and more specific. You don’t have to decide everything at once.

For example, you could:

  • write down which choice you need to make;
  • think about what is important to you;
  • see what’s feasible today;
  • choosing between two options rather than many options;
  • to take some time to think when someone asks a question;
  • to discuss your choice with someone who will listen calmly;
  • indicate that you wish to have a say in the decision;
  • look back to see what worked well.

Ask yourself: what helps me get through my day? That question often makes decisions seem less daunting.

When is it advisable to seek help?

Seeking help is a sensible thing to do if making decisions causes you a lot of stress or if you keep putting them off. Support can also help if others often make decisions for you, even though you don’t like that.

Please also ask for help if, due to symptoms, tiredness or stress, you are no longer able to judge what is sensible. Looking at the situation together can then bring peace of mind.

How Rondom can help

Together, we’ll look at which choices are difficult for you and what you need to feel more in control again. In doing so, we’ll take into account your energy levels, symptoms, daily routine, trust and your personal wishes.

A occupational therapist can help to make choices more concrete and to assess what is practically feasible. A lifestyle coach can provide support with decisions relating to health, routine and recovery. If you feel uncertain, are worrying or are anxious about making the wrong choice, you can psychological support should be appropriate.

Together, we look for ways in which you can continue to make your own choices, with support where needed.

Do you find that your day is turning out differently to how you’d planned? Perhaps you’re planning too much, forgetting to take breaks, or not getting round to what’s important. Drawing up a daily schedule can help you get a better grip on things, especially if your energy is limited or if your symptoms fluctuate. A good daily plan isn’t just a long list of tasks. It’s a realistic balance between doing, resting, taking care of yourself, working and relaxing. It’s precisely by planning in rest that you often have more energy left for what really matters.

  • Organising the structure

    Do you find that your day quickly becomes chaotic? Perhaps you know what needs to be done, but you can’t seem to organise everything in the right order. Or you start doing too many things at once and then lose track. This can cause anxiety and drain your energy. Creating structure helps you get a grip on things. Not because everything has to be strictly planned, but because clarity brings peace of mind. Especially if your energy levels, symptoms or capacity fluctuate, structure can help you make better choices about what you can and cannot manage.

  • Work on your health with the Rondom app

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    • Register for (online) events
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